In Memoriam, 1996-2010

6th April, 2010: Posted by glpease in General News

He came to me 14 years ago, a young dog; a furry, frenetic, non-stop, spinning ball of perpetual motion. At the shelter, they’d called him Rocky. It didn’t fit. Taz fit. He drove me nuts. He drove Pasha and Kismet, my other two dogs at the time, nuts. Anything that looked even vaguely alive was something to spring upon, a trait particularly annoying to the gophers that poked their unknowing heads from the security of their holes, only to find a bounding wolf, all four paws high in the air, descending upon them. Taz never got more than a snout full of dirt, but he never tired of the sport.

For the first few days that he lived with me, I was almost convinced that his energy was more than I, or the other dogs could live with. But, his boundless enthusiasm and constantly wagging tail won me over. And, his snuggles. And his intelligence. He was one of the special ones, and I knew he’d settle in, or I’d just get used to him, or both. He wasn’t always easy to live with, but neither am I; we both had things to learn.

When we’d go out, he’d dash ahead, then stop, turn and look back at me as if to say, “What’s the matter with you? Why walk, when you can run?” He was pure joy. You could see the smile in his eyes. And, he was very bright. He was almost instantly house-trained, and learned what he needed to know quickly in order to get along with his new family. I rarely had to teach him something more than once.

Over the years, he slowed down. We all do. He went from puppy, to dog, to mature dog, to old age. During the past year, he’d lost his hearing, gone very gray, and was getting stiff. Towards the end of last week, the signs were clear; his clock was winding down. Friday, he stopped eating. He stopped drinking. He stopped wagging his tail. On Saturday morning, I took him for a last, slow, patient, stumbling walk. He sniffed the flowers, rubbed against the weeds, looked at the world around him with the curiosity he’d always had. A little after noon, he took his final breath. He was old. It was his time. That doesn’t make it any easier.

I will miss him more than I can express, and probably more than I know. This morning, I absentmindedly dropped a piece of food in his bowl, which I haven’t had the heart to remove from the kitchen, still expecting him to dash in and devour it. Every time I open a door, I expect to find him behind it. I can still smell him wherever I go, especially in my office. I still expect to trip over him in the dark. It’s been hard cooking without his being next to me, begging for a handout, and my having to tell him, “Would you get out of my way?” I can’t even think about smoking a cigar - every time I’d light one, he’d expect to be going for a walk, or sitting with me on the porch. It’s all different, now, and I know it will be strange for a long time.

Another will find me one day. That’s the way it’s always been. I don’t find dogs; they find me. But, I am going to miss him terribly.

We do our best to do the right thing for our four legged friends. It’s never easy when they leave us, and even though I’ve been through it too many times to think about, experience doesn’t really help with this one. Each one is as hard as the last. As I watched Taz getting stiffer and grayer, as his hearing went, as he stopped jumping into my lap, or dashing up and down the stairs, I knew he was getting old. He’d been with me from pup to dog to old man, and now he’s gone. Our jobs is to love them while they’re here, which is never long enough. Those who have been through it know what I am saying.

Rest well, beloved friend.

27 Responses

  1. ralph Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 9:49

    with such an owner, he may rest happy of having known you :_)

  2. Bruce Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 9:50

    My deepest condolences for your loss so keenly expressed.

  3. K. A. Adams Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 9:54

    Greg -

    So sorry for your loss.

    I too know this heart break

    Prayers out

  4. Jimbo Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 11:19

    So sorry Greg; remember the good times.

  5. Rick H. Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 11:26

    My condolences, Greg. The loss of a beloved pet is always tough.

  6. Frank Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 11:31

    Your buddy has gone on to his next adventure.

    Yeah I know, that doesn’t make it any easier.

    Be at peace.

  7. Mark Oldstrom Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 12:08

    A Dog’s Passing

    When you stand at my grave and weep,
    I am not there, I do not sleep.

    I am a thousand winds that blow.
    I am the diamond glint on snow.
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
    I am the gentle autumn rain.

    When you wake in the morning hush,
    I am the swift, uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circling flight.
    I am the soft starlight at night.

    When you stand at my grave and weep.
    I am not there, I do not sleep.

  8. Bill Curnutte Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 12:09

    He is obviously a Border Collie mix. Mine was the most intelligent, most energetic dog I ever knew. And the best friend. Maybe the two of them can play in the Gray Havens together. My deepest condolences.

  9. Hunter Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 12:36

    Greg,

    You have my sincerest condolences.

    Regards,
    Hunter

  10. Deirdre Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 12:40

    We know they come to us with this heartbreak built in. The finer the friend, the greater the loss. One never gets to be an “old hand” at saying goodbye.

    My sympathy, Greg.

  11. Dr. Scott Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 13:18

    Sounds like Taz had a great life. Please accept my sincerest condolences.

    Life is better with a pipe full of a favorite blend and your dog by your side. I’m very sorry for your loss.

  12. Shad Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 13:45

    Greg,

    Deepest condolences on the loss of your four legged friend. The time with them goes by too fast.

  13. Mike Stutzman Says:
    April 6th, 2010 at 20:10

    My profound sympathies. I’m glad he had a good life and a loving friend in you.

  14. John Herring Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 20:38

    A few months ago I lost my dear friend Ozzie the Carin Terrier.
    He was my friend, my brother, my constant companion.
    A few nights later I had a dream (my wife said it was a vision). I was starting to cross a stream on a slightly arched bridge and who came running up to me but Ozzie. he just looked at me and said “your going to love it here”
    And ran off into the trees.

  15. Dan Says:
    April 8th, 2010 at 12:49

    Greg,

    So sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend Jake last year under much the same circumstances, he was my constant companion for 15 years.
    Its been a year and I miss him more than words can say…

    My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

  16. Dave G Says:
    April 10th, 2010 at 18:00

    I read this as my 14 year old Pointing Lab sleeps soundly at my feet. Her first career was as a therapy dog for my disabled son; her second was as animal control animal at a golf course I built (Canadian Geese still fear her). Now, she teaches me the dignity one can learn from an old dog. You sound like me in that you have been lucky enough to have had at least one “once in a lifetime” dog.

    As I finish writing the above I hear the baby (a 5 year old chocolate) barking at something in the neighborhood. As much as I miss those who have gone, I’ll bring home more.

  17. Gary Lampi Says:
    April 10th, 2010 at 19:49

    Greg,

    I’m profoundly sorry for your loss. I don’t know where else you can find the unconditional love a dog provides. If people were more like them, the planet would be a better place. I’m trying to prepare myself for the same loss you’ve just felt. My beloved basset hound, Bogie, will soon be 14 (she also was born in 1996) and is also slowing down, going deaf, her sight is failing, and she’s just getting old. My eBay name is garysbogie because she means so much to me. I recently heard about the ten commandments of dog ownership, with the last one being “..and you will be with me when it’s time.” Damn, that’s going to be hard.

    The beauty of if all is that we have the memories.

    Take care,

    Gary

  18. Scott Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 5:07

    Greg,

    So very sorry to read this. It puts a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye….for I know I too will have to face this heartbreak soon enough.

  19. Fred Says:
    April 13th, 2010 at 20:05

    We provide them with what they need… Feed them, take them to
    the vet, play with them and give them the love they will not rest without… They give us the pleasures of their company. The only regret is in the ending of this simple friendship. Letting go is never easy or completely finished.

  20. Carlos Says:
    April 15th, 2010 at 13:10

    Always remember the good times. They will be with us forever that way.

  21. Leslea & Ben Says:
    April 15th, 2010 at 20:27

    Cal left us exactly 4 weeks ago. Like you he came into our lives as a pup, a gorgeous Australian Shepherd. And like you, we experienced much the same together. He grew up in the country and came to the city in his 10th year. All our lives changed but he was gracious and settled for a leash and a fenced back yard. At 12, his legs were going. Drugs helped, then they didn’t and everything else came at once.
    I’ve stopped the uncontrollable blubbering, the crying when neighbors walking their dogs go by.
    Then your story was emailed to me and here I am writing through my tears.
    I don’t know how long this will last, and I don’t care.

  22. Tim Says:
    April 16th, 2010 at 18:41

    After a two year hiatus, I’ve just gotten another dog. Justa was a fine friend, and she got the end she deserved, though it was hard to think that way at the time: at fourteen, she sat down one day on a walk, and the next day, at the vet’s, I was told that she was terminal. I once read that dogs cannot think through pain, and any extraordinary measures would have postponed the inevitable and unnecessarily extended her suffering, so I let her go home.

    Ford, who has been with me for a month, is a fine fellow: half Bassett (from the hips down) and half Shepherd, he is a clown, and yes, he gets into trouble, empties trashcans, and barks. He also snuggles up against me, doesn’t mind pipe smoke, and promises to be a boon companion for quite a while.

  23. Jay Mironov Says:
    April 20th, 2010 at 14:22

    My story is a reprint of your except for a few details. Her name was Nell when we adopted her, it just wasn’t the right name. We called her Ivy. She was 6 to 8 weeks old Oct. 1997. The smartest dog I ever had and it could be because she would go to my business with me after she was a year old. I had a retail bicycle store and she interacted with all the customers. Patrons would come to the store just to see her. She was the light of my life. She left a lasting mpression with every person she came into contact with. About a month ago her neck swelled up, we went to the vet could and not find anything wrong until she started having a problem breathing. Lung cancer! She lasted until Friday April 16, 2010. I tried my best but she started to suffer. I would not let her suffer so I could see her alive. Part of me is gone. We did every thing together so I can feel your pain. I also had other dogs, but they were not like her. I could see her smile when she was happy and she loved going after little critters in the fields just like your dog
    This is going to be a tough few months
    Sincerely Jay Mironov

  24. Allen Says:
    April 20th, 2010 at 22:10

    Greg, I’m sorry to hear of your loss.

    I mentioned it briefly on facebook, but I want you to know I’ve been thinking of you lately on this. I grew up with a best-friend with four legs, and I still think back on him. His passing was a very sad day indeed. There’s nothing that can be said except that we are better to have known these fellows than to have not- even with the hardships, the marking of territory, the chewed up items, and the incessant face-licks. :) Dogs are sometimes the best “people”. :) So, here’s to Taz, a man’s best friend!

    [My pal was named Friskey, and about 5 or 6 other additional names because we couldn’t decide on the best one when he first came home to stay… but Friskey stuck, and he definitely was… a bit like Taz in his energy level, but a true joy.]

    A bowl in Taz’s honor!
    -Allen

  25. Gary Lampi Says:
    April 22nd, 2010 at 23:34

    Greg,

    My missive to you on April 10th proved to be more prophetic than I realized. I’ve been working in Ohio and my daughter has been taking care of my old basset hound, Bogie. My daughter called me Tuesday to let me know she had to take Bogie to the vet because of a bleeding eye. It was a tumor and the vet found several more. The prognosis was that she would only survive a few weeks at best and if we tried surgery she would probably die during the procedure. With no recourse and wanting to end her suffering, Amy had the vet put Bogie to sleep. She died peacefully, with Amy rubbing her ears, a gesture Bogie found quite comforting. I feel guilty that I wasn’t with her, but I honestly don’t know how I would have held up if I was there. Since I was driving when Amy told me, all I could do was pull off the road and cry. She was a great dog and friend and I will miss her deeply.

    Gary

  26. Dixon L. Creasey, Jr. Says:
    April 26th, 2010 at 12:29

    Awwwwww…
    My condolences.

    Dixon

  27. DJ Bassett Says:
    July 4th, 2010 at 22:38

    Hey Greg,

    I just discovered you, your web site and Taz a couple of days ago. Your writing has, in just a couple of days, moved me deeply on many levels. Your tribute to Taz expresses for many of us the deep love we have for our canine pals and a quality of life they enable in us that comes from no where else. Without them, I was a closed-down, case-hardened curmudgeon. But, with that look in their eye and that spring in their step and that wiggle of their butt when I walk in the house after being gone for even a few minutes, my life is affirmed! I am very sorry for your loss, but I am happier for your experience! Live on Taz!
    -DJ

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